Rock Bottom

The last few years for me have been a time of self discovery.  In 2013 I gave birth to my son, Luke.  He is my world. I’ve heard that women suffer from postpartum depression long after they give birth.  I never gave it much thought.  But for some reason I felt like something was missing in my life. Or that I was missing out on life.  6 months after giving birth to Luke I developed a terrible drinking habit.  It started off pretty slowly and innocently.  Soon after, I began rewarding myself with alcohol.  Then, it just spiraled out of control.  This went on for about 6 months.  I think it just made feel young again.  I felt free.  As soon as my son fell asleep I would drink.  I was drinking heavily every night.  It was a vicious circle.  One day after being exhausted from hangovers, I felt that I couldn’t live like this anymore.   I guess you can say I hit rock bottom.

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December 09, 2014 was the day I had my last drink. I am now approaching my two-year anniversary of sobriety and I am in awe at how resilient the body and spirit are.  I found my strengths through my weaknesses. The human mind is capable of so much. We push it constantly with our thoughts and emotions.  Sometimes to the brink of insanity.  The thing that helped me have so much willpower was my son, Luke.  Drinking every night was affecting my days.  I wasn’t being the best mom that I could be and I knew that.  He was getting older and I knew that sooner or later he would begin to understand what was happening and I didn’t want him to ever see me in that condition.  He was the one thing that saved me.

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